everybody has a backstory

In 1978 while tripping on acid and jacked way up on white crosses and tequila, singing Lynyrd Skynard’s “Freebird”, in possession, at the time, a respectably sized cache of unmarked firearms and various and assorted controlled substances – I found myself pissing in the parking lot of Turf’s Tavern, Middletown, trying to write my name in the snow.

In retrospect, I should have gone with “Bill”, “William” is way hard to write and I always forget to dot the “I”.

To any passersby who saw me expose my junk I sincerely apologize.

My point is to absolutely not make light or give a pass to anyone whose past behavior has caused anyone, male or female, to feel threatened or compromised.

These individuals should be held accountable for their actions, from trump to Weinstein to Spacey to Franken to whoever comes out today.

My point is you had better make damn sure your own backstory is spotless before you climb that soapbox and claim the moral authority.

I know myself and from where I come. I want no part of that soapbox. For all the harm i’ve caused, I am truly sorry.

 

2 thoughts on “everybody has a backstory”

  1. I have mixed feelings about the sudden swarm of accusations about sexual misconduct. I don’t think all the offenses are equal. Everyone has their own yardstick based on experience. Where they draw the line between offensive and abusive. My backstory includes unwanted kisses, sexual assault and everything in between.
    Roy Moore is a predator. Simple conclusion.
    Al Franken… not so simple. This is my take on that.
    Her- pretty…him- not. And in the world we live in we all know how things went for each of them in regards to opposite sex interactions. She had her pick and he probably had very limited opportunities. He may have thought that was his chance with her. She probably felt he wasn’t in her class so how dare he, ewwww. The sleeping/grope photo? Payback/hurt feelings for the major rejection?
    In our culture guys are led to believe that they should be the aggressor. Lots are very clumsy at trying to be the right balance of aggressive but respecful. Charming without being sappy. Lots also think that if a woman is friendly she wants it to be more. I also believe there are few guys out there that haven’t done something like Franken’s kiss. And few women who haven’t been on the recieving end of one. As long as “no” put a stop to it I would have let it go as a misreading of the situation. A non-event. Franken was in the comedy world. Lots of comedy blurs the line between what’s ok and what’s not. And lots of it, admit it, is funny. People do questionable things trying to be funny. Some are well paid for it. He said that things he thought were funny in that world, 11yrs ago, he no longer finds funny. I believe that’s possible. Only those that know these guys now can say if they’ve changed. That’s what we need to find out. Do they still do this stuff? Some grow out of it. Become aware. Some don’t. Guys that grab kisses can change. Predators don’t.
    Every guy who’s every done something like that kiss doesn’t deserve to be called out for sexual misconduct.
    Aside from all that I wonder about Franken’s accuser. Her motives and timing. I don’t believe that was her only experience with unwanted advances. So, why him and why now? Her press conference statements just seemed off to me. The other women in all the other incidents seemed credible. She came off, to me, as too repulsed. It felt like a ‘How dare HE try to kiss ME’ kind of thing. Again that was just my take on it.
    BTW: I was never a Franken fan when he was in comedy.
    After rereading this I wanted to rewrite it, make it shorter, clearer. I didn’t. Hope it’s not too all over the place. Big complicated subject to put in a small place.

  2. This is one reason I will never run for any office, public or otherwise. As a young man in my late teens and early twenties, I did some things, to include take liberties which I should not have taken towards certain young women that I knew. Some of them were laughed off, and no meant no, and that was the end. I have since, long ago apologized to those that I still had contact with, as I got older and more respectful. As a married man and a father of an incredible daughter, I felt bad about decisions I had made in the past as a “typical young male”, and saw things differently as an adult. I am not, nor have I ever been anyone famous or rich of affluent, however, that doesn’t mean that I could never make someone feel less than who they are by my words and actions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *