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William Lobb

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wlobb

Train Smoke

The summer always ended on his porch, the neighbor, Harry McCabe, down the dirt path dead-end by the water. Feet up on the surrounding concrete and stone wall, his front porch. Leaning back in the kitchen chairs we’d drug out after eating the evening meal. Carefully surveying the woods for the skunks. They liked to appear as the sun sets, down by the garbage cans and the black-cap bushes.

The wind rushing under the wings of Canada Geese, landing on the small lake, more a pond, more swamp. To Harry it was a lake, his lake. The thick woods surrounding us betrayed the sun, the last rays of the day fall and we are born into a new darkness.

Harry had been a friend of my dad’s, before my old man died. Together they worked on cars in his driveway. My dad had a job, but he liked to work on cars. I guessed that was Harry’s entire job, old cars and lawnmowers. He must have had a dozen or so lawnmowers around the garage out back of his house. Harry’s wife left him a few years back. I asked about it, but he said she just went to be with her sister and that was it. Word around the lake was Harry was a mean drunk, but he always seemed pretty kind to me. Some nights I helped him off to bed, when he got himself lost in the booze.

A Pall Mall cigarette burning in the enveloping night, he spoke, unintentionally of his insecurities and intentionally the need, come Saturday, to replace the starter in ‘The ‘51,’ the Ford pickup, rusting behind his house. “I should teach you how to pop start that truck, when your legs are longer… it’s something you need to know.”

He got me drinking whisky and sweet soda around the age of nine. Harry said, “What with your old man dead, now I suppose you ought to learn to drink and fight. I supposed nine is as good an age as any for both…” So we started to drink that sweet soda whisky on the porch as the summers ended.

A far off rumble slowly filled the night, every night, right on time, like a clock, then the wail of a train whistle, the rumble to a distant roar. “Diesel motor… when I was your age the steam engines were still rolling. I always had a feel for that trainsmoke in my blood, like a poison. Trainsmoke would make a man feel the need to be away. Not that life ain’t good here, it’s that damn smoke that pulls at you. Some days I walk out by the trestle and look at them boxcars rolling by…”

He stopped, I saw a man between two worlds. The man who loved his home and his porch and pickup Ford and his lawnmowers, and his mud hole lake, and the man who felt the pull of that whistle and rumble.

“Train smoke, boy… it’s in the stronger than this here whisky,” and we’d click glasses in some ritual I still don’t quite understand.

I went back to the lake in my later years and tried to find out what happened to Harry. The people who lived there now say he died, I like think he finally hopped that train.

On the passing of Rush Limbaugh:

On the passing of Rush Limbaugh:

I started using the Chobani caramel creamer in my coffee this winter, not a lot, but it really adds a nice taste. I’m always mindful of too many fats, etc., but I figure in the midst of this crummy Covid winter, why not.

I finally gave up shoveling and bought a snowblower. Man, why didn’t I do that twenty years ago.

Pitchers and Catchers reported to Yankees and Mets training camp yesterday.

Does anyone know if that Rover made it to Mars?

If there will be a bus trip to go piss on the grave, let me know and how do I sign up?

Getting a Covid vaccine is way too hard.

Oh, Canada…

Canada, this week, decided the Proud Boys are a terrorist group, just like Al Qaeda and the Taliban.

It’s not going to happen here, not with men like Chuck Schumer’s and John Kerry’s steady hand on the tiller. We’ve become weak and cowardly nation because we allow weak and cowardly people to lead us.

I know this isn’t a popular opinion, but it’s mine.

Biden and Harris gives me some hope, Chuck & Co. are weak, their hand wringing and tweets about pool safety (the subject Schumer was talking about the day Trump and Putin were meeting in Helsinki) will give the corrupt, and even more cowardly GOP control of the house and senate again in 2022; Biden will again be emasculated by the likes of Mitch McConnell (a man who consistently wins re-election with a 16% approval rating in Kentucky).

You wonder how Trump happened? It was weak and cowardly opposition that allowed it. It was gerrymandering that allowed it. I’m as big a left-wing libtard as ever put on a pair of pants and I had to spit and swear when I voted for HRC—because there was NO choice.

The fact that Greene and Boebert are allowed to even be seated tells me the lower house is equally weak.

We didn’t get to this rathole we now live in by accident. It’s an attrition of courage. In 1953 the Rosenberg’s were executed for much less than the ‘Proud Boys’ pulled on January 6th 2021. I’m actually shocked Chuck spoke out at all.

“We get the government we deserve…”

Happy Christmas, Ma

I sit three feet from the box of wax candles in shapes of snowmen and Santa Claus and pine trees, and I remember the challenges you had with pudding and names and words last Christmas.

I left up the gaudy, fake, three-foot plastic tree in your room, the lights still on, until you died in February. There wasn’t a lot left for you to enjoy, but you loved your all blue lights and silver balls. It’s my sincere hope the last thing you saw before you last closed your eyes were those lights reflected in plastic and chrome shine of those ornaments.

I realize a fake tree was a horrible violation, but it was the best I could do; nursing home rules, not mine, Ma.

Every Christmas of my young life was a tribute to JJ Newberry’s and Woolworth’s and plastic and tinsel and various and other tchotchke. I’m left, this year, to make some kind of sense of, and peace with, these boxes of plastic ivy, red and white stockings and assorted reindeer and fat men with rosy cheeks.

I lost a lot of the Jimmy Stewart, It’s a Wonderful Life, Bing Crosby, White Christmas, the year my father died, but as broke as you were, physically, emotionally and financially, you soldiered through.

The last month of the year was your time and your tree needed to be real and covered with all that stuff that belonged in a dumpster somewhere, but has found it’s way in my attic. I never told you when you were alive, Ma, but I admired your courage and resolve above all.

It’s poignant and fitting and perfect the best memory I have with you was drinking Canadian Whiskey by one of your trees. The ice in your glass clinking as you sipped your drink, the blue and silver reflection shining in your eyes. Maybe the only time I really saw you smile.

Happy Christmas, Ma.

But I have questions…

I realize that some, many, view the founders as damn nearly man-gods, who suffered otherworldly brilliance and vision.

We were taught in elementary school to overlook things like genocide of the native population and the fact that many of these man-gods owned, and on the regular threw a fuck or two into the human beings that they owned. But that was ok, what with all that talk of more perfect unions and such… but I have a question.

They crafted a nearly flawless document called The Constitution modeled after the English Bill of Rights and the Magna Carta, and they provisioned within this document the ability to amend it and add to it as the world changed and evolved… but I have a question…

These man-gods modeled a system of checks and balances with the judicial, executive and legislative branches of government keeping any one from seizing too much power or control… but I have a question…

With this perfect system of laws and amendments and checks and balances how the fuck does one account for this gutless, soulless, cowardly, boot-licking motherfucker—re-elected in Kentucky with a net 16% approval rating. How does every non GOP backed piece of federal legislation proposed land on and die on this assholes desk?

Spare me your fife and drums and flags, this is all working as designed 245 years ago.

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