William Lobb

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Apple Pie and Chevrolet

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I saw this guy in an older Chevy Pick-up this morning. He’s about my age, wearing a John Deere hat, big wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth. I’m left wondering Red Man or Levi Garrett.

The truck had some Trump bumper sticker’s,  a “Stop Planned Parenthood” bumper sticker, a flag,  America flag. I was pretty sure his radio was to set to some country music station…

I’m hoping there would be Hank Sr. or George Jones. Those guys were goddamn poets. Maybe some Earl Scruggs. I don’t think you can really appreciate music until you have immersed yourself in Foggy Mountain Breakdown. I’m serious about this. All of this. [Read more…] about Apple Pie and Chevrolet

We Are All We Have

All day I’ve been thinking about the mix in my family and friends. It’s a pretty even mix,

Hispanic, African, Eastern European, Northern European, Mediterranean,  Middle Eastern, Caribbean. It’s been that way all my life. Unintentional, just how it happened.

I don’t love everyone, I hate a few people. That has always been based on who they are or what they did to deserve my hatred. I seriously don’t understand the bullshit that is tearing this country apart. If I love you I love you. If I don’t there’s a reason, that reason has nothing to do with your skin color, or where your ancestors came from. [Read more…] about We Are All We Have

I am so fucking done loving the addict and hating the addiction

 

I found out this morning the little girl – the who we can’t name or share her picture, the one born addicted to heroin, the one born blind, the one born deaf in one ear, is now “profoundly brain-damaged.”

I am so fucking done loving the addict and hating the addiction. This little girl and her story have tested my belief system about as far as it can be tested.

I was up last night thinking about a rant on child protective services and how they are doing everything in their power to keep us from raising money for this little girl, but you know what, fuck that.

I am an addict, but one day in 1993 I was able to dig down underneath the layers and layers of self-pity in denial and bullshit and touch, for one brief moment, what was left of my humanity. You cannot be a bigger addict or a bigger asshole than I was or am, for that matter. If I can anyone can.

If you are using and pregnant you need to do one of three things: you either need to pull your head out of your ass, walk away from your denial and get into a program and work the fuck out of it, or you need to abort that baby, or you need to load up that spike with enough dope to kill five motherfuckers and take care of the problem now.

 

 

My Mom’s Doctor is a Scary Muslim

LOS ANGELES, UNITED STATES – FEBRUARY 4: Demonstrators against President Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban come together at Los Angeles International Airport, in Los Angeles, California, United States on February 4, 2017. (Photo by Mintaha Neslihan Eroglu/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

 

My mom has Alzheimer’s, a brutal disease. Her doctor is a Muslim. His name is Islam, actually, Mahbub Islam. I have his cell number, he has mine. He’s answered my call at 1 AM on a Sunday morning.

He calls her “Mama” and hugs her when he sees her. He calls me “Billy,” actually BEELEE. I’ve seen him have tears of frustration in his eyes as we try to work together dealing with congestive heart failure, kidney failure, pain management and a whole slew of elder care challenges. We have had many heart-to-heart talks about palliative care and exactly that means and what we are dealing with here.

“This is not the place for heroics, Beelee, this is about caring and comfort.” [Read more…] about My Mom’s Doctor is a Scary Muslim